My Heartfelt Confession: The Truth About Grief

They say that “time heal all wounds” and when it is connected to a death of  a loved one, that wound is huge. So does time really heal that huge wound? Since my dad’s passing 8 months earlier, I’ve experienced my own passages of grief and witnessed how other loved ones are dealing with it. All I can say is that grief comes in all different forms and everyone deals with it in their own way.

While everyone else around us are moving on with their lives, time definitely stand still for those of us who are grieving; at least it feels like that. Our world has been rocked and we understand that life goes on, so we do have to go along with it, and go through with the motions of everyday life. I have found that at least for me, that I may be there physically for my everyday routines, but often, I may not be there emotionally and mentally. At the same time, there are sudden spurts when I am physically, emotionally and mentally there, and genuinely happy, ready to move on. And for now, I tell myself, it’s okay to feel, think and just to be confronted with all these conflicting thoughts and emotions. The loss of my dad is still quite fresh and I’m still trying to make sense of how I’m going to cope.

In this short little time, I’ve learned that time does not heal the huge wound, but time does lessen the pain; however the grief can suddenly come back in full force and take over. And these moments can come any time, so it’s unpredictable. It can be as random as suddenly hearing my dad’s favourite song on the radio to changing my snow tires at the auto shop this week, or deliberate like when I began sorting through his things with my mom this weekend. These moments remind me of what my dear friend Zainab shared with me a few months earlier, and now I totally understand. She told me that grief is like an ocean. I think this quote explains it perfectly: “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it it overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

I am currently learning to swim along with the water and am facing each wave as it comes my way and hopefully one day when I think of my dad it is with a true smile on my face and in my heart, and no more tears.

In this moment, thank you for reading and listening to my heartfelt confession on my grief. I am grateful for you, my readers. ❤

I promise when I’m ready emotionally and mentally, I will be in touch more often here since I do have a few posts to complete and share with you; and for my fellow blogger friends, I can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to since my absence sometime soon.

With love and gratitude,

Violet

grief pic

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “My Heartfelt Confession: The Truth About Grief

  1. Violet, thank you so much for sharing your feelings…so deep, and honest, and true. I admire your ability to clearly define your thoughts and emotions during such a challenging time in your life. I really think it is a gift to know oneself so well (and a skill I have yet to learn). I know it will help you greatly as you continue to ‘swim’ toward the time when you will think of your dad with light in your heart and a smile on your face. Thank you, again 🙂

    • Dear Naomi, thank you for commenting; thinking about and writing down my thoughts and feelings and having a “listener” helps me to figure out what is going on with myself during this challenging time. I find it cathartic, so thank you for listening to me. ^^ XO

  2. My friend just texted me this morning to say that her mother died, today…I didn’t know what to say but I think I’m gonna send her a link to your post. Thank you for sharing this xx

    • Dear Marta, I hope your friend will find comfort in the good memories she has of her mother, and I hope my post will help her to understand the grieving process somewhat. Of course it is different for every person. Happy New Year! 🙂

  3. My dear Violet, I cannot agree that time heals all wounds. I wrote these words in my post from December 1st …

    December is a month of mixed emotions for me: agony and ecstasy. It can be a difficult time for those who have lost loved ones: the people we cherish will forever be missed at the dinner table.

    My brother Johnny was killed in a car accident when I was 16 (he was 18). I will always miss him, even though life goes on. Having lost both my parents, I empathize with you. Your pain and sadness is overwhelming and unbearable at times, like the ocean you wrote about.

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us! Hugs my dear!!

    May God’s love comfort you!!

    ❤ carmen

    • Dearest Carmen, Thank you for sharing your heart with me too, and I also empathize with your mixed emotions. Hope 2015 will bless you with lots of joy, good health and adventures ahead! 🙂 XO, Violet

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